Where is the love
by tweettweet-24
Summary: Jake and Bella live in two different locations, they easily become friends. They fall madly in love, at least Bella thinks so. Then she falls apart. What happened?
1. chapter 1

I'm so broken. I don't know what I've done to end up this way, feeling this way. The guy I loved, the guy I thought I'd marry, walked out of my life. We started as a long distance thing but I began wanting more. He just danced around the situation, saying he wanted more. 'More' never came. Just pain, hopeless thoughts, and feelings of worthlessness. Everything he had said turned out to be a lie. I'm not sure whether I should feel sad or if I should be happy.

I spent too much time getting to know him in every aspect. At this point, I knew him like the back of my hand.

But it doesn't matter. He tossed me aside like last week's leftovers.

No one has ever broken me the way he has and I'd been broken numerous times. But this was the sat straw. I'm such a heaping mess, no one will want me. How do I put myself back together?

How do I go on? I don't know where to start. I don't know how to start healing.

-Flashback- 

We anticipated talking in the phone.

 _Will you be up later?_

 _Yesssss. Why?_

 _I'm gonna call you (:_

I'm doing my happy dance.

 _Okay. Let me know when you're ready._

My phone rang 20 minutes later.

"Hello." I answer. I was slightly nervous. What were we going to talk about? Are we gonna out of things to say? What if I sound too 'manly'? Will he find the sound of my laughter annoying? I just loved this man. He was everything I've ever dreamed of and I didn't want to mess anything up.

"Hey," he replied. I didn't know what to say, so I started fidgeting with my fingers. "How was your day?" He said it ever so casually. He sounded like this was a part of our daily routine.

"It was good. How was yours" I reply. And from there our conversation flowed so naturally. It was so much more natural than many of my other choked out, awkward conversations with others. I never felt weird or pressured. We cracked jokes, made up our own, silly little inside jokes. It had been a good talk that I hadn't had in a while. We just instantly bonded.

As our night conversation was heading toward the end he said it.

"I love you, Bella"

"I love you, Jake." As soon as I heard those words, I started to fly. My heart beat was faster and I could feel a slight blush creep on my face. I thought it never end.

-End Flashback- 

Boy, I so wrong. 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a regular, boring day. It was as if it were any other day. Except I haven't heard from him. I reach out but I get nothing in return. Today turns into tomorrow turns into a week turns into a month. I try to wrack my brain to see what I've done. I get nothing. This is a devastating blow. I've talked to my best friend all day everyday. And now it's been at least a month since I've heard from him.

What happens when the person you love, stops responding and you don't hear from for months?

-Flashback-

 _Bella, I want to kiss you._ I don't know why, but this makes me giddy and slightly blush. I'm not sure why though. I want to do the same. We just can't physically be together right now. There's nothing that I want more than to be able to touch him.

 _Do you really? Why do you say that?_ I could never understand why anyone on this earth would want me.

 _Because, you're so great. You're so down to earth and I'm so attracted to you. You're beautiful inside and out._

Anyone who's ever said that was family. Is it that someone is finally seeing me for me? Am I not just this awkward girl but a love interest for someone?

-End Flashback-

It's hard to focus on anything else because he's all I can think about. What is he doing? How is he feeling? Is he thinking about me like I'm thinking about him? Should I reach out to him again? I don't want to smother him and I don't feel like I do. Something tells me I should but I don't. I just really didn't want to ruin what we had. Or what I thought we had.

I met my soulmate. But did he find his?


	3. Chapter 3

I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't care for me like I care for him. I met my soulmate. I just can't say the same for him though. Or he might have, it's just not me, like I hoped it would be.

Was I just confused? He'd confessed his love for me. Was he telling me the truth or was he just toying with my emotions? This thought makes me angry. I am not some emotionless person and I'm not a toy whose buttons he can just keep pushing or push when he's bored.

-Flashback-

 _Hey, Bella._ I've been dying to talk to him all day. He's extraordinary and it excites me that he wants to talk

 _Hey, Jake. How are you? How's your been?_ I'm genuinely interested to hear about his day like always. I just didn't expect our conversation to take the turn it did.

 _I'm kind of bothered by something that happened._ But what could that be. He tells me everything.

 _Do you want to talk about it? If not, I understand._ I respect his space. I won't force him to talk about something he doesn't want to talk about.

 _I met this girl._ My heart dropped. _W_ _e had been hanging out. We met at a party. I found out she was underage.* Her parents found out about me and my age and forbid us to talk to each other. I like her a lot._

I can. Not. Believe. This _._ He just confessed his love for me like 3 weeks ago and now he's off following some tramp! And underaged one at that. And not only that, he's just keeps following tail. Like a typical womanizer

 _Well... Do you want to know what I think about it and give you my honest opinion?_ And he was going to get it. I'm not holding back. Part of me is raging and I want him to know. The other part wants him to know that I am hurting, that what he said had hurt me. I wanted him to feel that pain. So part of me did this out of spite. But I also responded the way I did out of pure concern for him and the trouble that he could get into.

 _I think I do._

 _Well, I think that's what's for the best. She's underage and it could cause some problems._

 _But it's not like that. She makes me feel so alive and so happy. I don't feel so miserable when I'm with her. She's different._

 _That doesn't matter. She is underage and you are a grown man. You can and will get in trouble. Her parents don't want you around her. Whatever feelings you think you have, you either need to stuff them or wait for her. If you really like her you would wait._ He really didn't like that because we ended up having an argument and didn't talk for the rest of the night and a few nights that followed.

I was so mad. I was fuming. I found my razor and I knew that this night was not going to end the way I wanted.

-End Flashback-

Thinking back on that night, it brings tears to my eyes. I'm now proud that I haven't self harmed in a couple years. The urges never go away, but I am now able to work through the feelings.

****A/N: the underage girl is 16 and Jake is 20


End file.
